Grab your juice box and carpet square kiddos...its story time!
....in the midst of twilight on a cool September evening I watched the sun set just over the horizon walking along the shore Shadow's company. 6 months. Just a few months ago was when he was deployed. I can remember that day like it was yesterday. March 22nd a couple days after St. Patrick’s day, one of our favorite holidays to spend together, we always got together with some of our best friends and relive the college memories.
After he was gone for about a week, there was a knock on my door. I wasn't expecting any visitors, so when I heard that knock my heart skipped a beat or two. To my surprise it was just Mark, my husbands best friend. He said he had something for me, I was a little confused and not sure what he meant, but he pointed to the blue box by his feet. Mark told me to open it and I found the cutest chocolate Labrador retriever inside with a note from Ben. As soon as I started reading his letter my eyes filled with tears, and a rush of emotions ran through my body: happiness, sadness, being excited, being scared. But most of all at that point I truly began to realize how much I missed Ben and how important he was to me.
Ever since that day, Shadow has been right by my side, some days I would even go to work and I’d bring him along. The girls at the law firm didn’t seem to mind, his company was a delight to everyone and most important he kept me going. And today on the shore at sunset I found a bottle along the shoreline, of course I picked it up. But this wasn’t your typical empty coke bottle, there was a rolled up piece of paper inside. I was dying to read it so with the bottle in hand Shadow and I ran back to my car so we could head home and see what was inside. Sprawled out on the comfy dark blue loveseat, with Shadow’s head in my lap I carefully opened the bottle and found the message inside that read, “I’ll be seeing you…Love, Me”
With such an open phrase like that a million thoughts started racing through my head: who sent it, who was the intended recipient, where was it sent from, why was I the one to pick it up. At first I thought it was a sign, and then I told myself I was stupid for believing such a thing. Find a message in a bottle is just something that happens in romance novels or those chick flicks, I told myself. I came to my senses and decided it didn’t mean anything, and I just went on with my day and began to prepare a late diner for Shadow and me.
Later that night I received a phone call from an old friend Melissa, saying she’s in town and wanted to catch up over lunch tomorrow. Of course I sad yes and we were meeting at the Café tomorrow at noon. After hanging up the phone, I sat in silence for a minute thinking, and after not seeing her in a while, I thought maybe this was what the message was about, but I didn’t let it get to me.
It was time for bed, so I walked back to my bedroom, the master always seemed very empty with Ben on tour, and it made me miss him even more knowing he wasn’t right there sleeping next to me. Shadow has been amazing, but my puppy doesn’t make up for my loving husband that is over seas (for what seems like forever)! I just tell myself March will be here before I know it…that’s when Bens platoon is supposed to return to the states, and to me (sorry if I sound selfish). Before I am about to fall asleep I glance to my bedside table and smile at the picture we took just before Ben left. Then I glanced over and saw I had a new e-mail, and because I don’t like to go to bed with unfinished business I shuffled over to my Mac and opened the Mail application.
Surprised to find an email from Ben, he hasn’t sent an email since their last stop, which was over two weeks ago. It was short and sweet and to the point. He said he was safe and that they were relocated to work on some special project, but of course the details were scarce. He was safe and doing well, which was all I carried about. He also sent a recent picture of him and added the postscript; P.S. I’ll being seeing you. His picture made me smile beyond belief but the P.S. left me with an eerie feeling, especially with everything that happened today. I tried to go back to bed, taking a couple few breaths to help me relax and attempt to fall asleep. After tossing and turning for about half an hour I decided to get up and go for a run. Running was the only thing that truly relaxed me.
Although, it was about two o’clock in the morning, living in a small beach town I knew I was safe no matter what time of the day it was. Since it was so quiet, I could hear every step I took and with each stride I thought of Ben. Memories of us running up and down the bay and throughout our campus in college ran fresh through my mind. The comfort he provides and smile across his face is what I miss most. I never realized how hard it would be to spend a year apart from him, until it actually happened.
Trying to look to the future, I’m beginning to realize what I am going to have to do without my best friend by my side. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, our Anniversary. Four major events in my life, I’ll be taking them by myself, but I know he’ll be wanting to be home as much as I want him there…if not more. Knowing that put a smile on my face and I started to run faster.
I made it home, and Shadow was waiting for me at the door, I took a steaming hot shower, and at that point was ready for bed. Lying in bed, repeating, “I’ll be seeing you…” over and over again and glancing over at Ben’s picture I eventually managed to fall asleep knowing seeing and holding him in my arms again is one day sooner once I wake up in the morning…
….”I’ll be seeing you….”
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
SUMMER NIGHTS ON THE BEACH!
I wish!
Sooo many exams, projects, and assignments. the work seems never ending and the days seem like they keep getting shorter. i just keep telling myself 4 weeks of class and 3 finals then summer will be here :) i can't wait to kick back and relax. right now the stress keeps building up and it doesnt seem like there is enough time in the day for everything. Come May 9th...no class, just lifeguarding alot and hanging out with my friends.
but i'm sure gonna miss Happy Valley :) and everyone here!
me, nat, and pepper!
the girls and reverend
Sooo many exams, projects, and assignments. the work seems never ending and the days seem like they keep getting shorter. i just keep telling myself 4 weeks of class and 3 finals then summer will be here :) i can't wait to kick back and relax. right now the stress keeps building up and it doesnt seem like there is enough time in the day for everything. Come May 9th...no class, just lifeguarding alot and hanging out with my friends.
but i'm sure gonna miss Happy Valley :) and everyone here!
me, nat, and pepper!
the girls and reverend
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The Words I Couldn't Say
These past two months have came with a lot of opportunities, of which i am extremely great full for!
Its hard to believe that my time at Penn State is almost half over...it seems like it has just begun, but you know what they say--time flies, and it sure does! for as hard of a time i had in the beginning of my college journey, i'm 100% finally happy to say I'm glad i stayed here in happy valley. so many great experiences, opportunities, and friendships have came my way as a penn stater, and i definitely would not have gained them anywhere else.
Just taking some time reflecting on everything that has happened just puts me in absolute "AWE!" THON. Relay. Band. The Second Mile. BFF's. Interning for Hillary really make me appreciate life a little more everyday.
like who in their normal life would decide to stand for 46 hours for the kids? who would "party" and stay enthusiastic in freezing pouring rain for the portion of relay that wasn't canceled.? who would joke back and forth with people about using "the pickety third" for a pick up line? who would spend a week + playing about every version of Tag and large group games with a bunch of little kids and losing your voice in the process? who would go run around wal-mart in the wee hours of the morning and laugh the entire time? who would mischievously circulate the entire penn state campus from midnight - 3am promoting Bill Clinton's rally? i'd say not the average person...thats what makes us here at Penn State so unique and so amazing!
but its not like we take the pride and glory for ourselves...we do it to make a difference in other's lives. those suffering from cancer, or the at risk kids, and just the average American. and we definitely appreciate every minute of it-- no matter how tired we may be, or how many people put us down along the way. at the end of the day, we can look back and see what has been accomplished :)
P.S. "Heather! we met bill! lmao" yess!!! 7000+ people in rec hall to see bill tonight=simply amazing, and we helped make that happen!!! still totally stoked. p.s.s. sean-we totally met bill tonight!! ha
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.
Its hard to believe that my time at Penn State is almost half over...it seems like it has just begun, but you know what they say--time flies, and it sure does! for as hard of a time i had in the beginning of my college journey, i'm 100% finally happy to say I'm glad i stayed here in happy valley. so many great experiences, opportunities, and friendships have came my way as a penn stater, and i definitely would not have gained them anywhere else.
Just taking some time reflecting on everything that has happened just puts me in absolute "AWE!" THON. Relay. Band. The Second Mile. BFF's. Interning for Hillary really make me appreciate life a little more everyday.
like who in their normal life would decide to stand for 46 hours for the kids? who would "party" and stay enthusiastic in freezing pouring rain for the portion of relay that wasn't canceled.? who would joke back and forth with people about using "the pickety third" for a pick up line? who would spend a week + playing about every version of Tag and large group games with a bunch of little kids and losing your voice in the process? who would go run around wal-mart in the wee hours of the morning and laugh the entire time? who would mischievously circulate the entire penn state campus from midnight - 3am promoting Bill Clinton's rally? i'd say not the average person...thats what makes us here at Penn State so unique and so amazing!
but its not like we take the pride and glory for ourselves...we do it to make a difference in other's lives. those suffering from cancer, or the at risk kids, and just the average American. and we definitely appreciate every minute of it-- no matter how tired we may be, or how many people put us down along the way. at the end of the day, we can look back and see what has been accomplished :)
P.S. "Heather! we met bill! lmao" yess!!! 7000+ people in rec hall to see bill tonight=simply amazing, and we helped make that happen!!! still totally stoked. p.s.s. sean-we totally met bill tonight!! ha
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Don't Fade Away...
so pretty much spring break is here....i feel like it was winter break like just yesterday.
while...on the other hand, so much has happened and so much has left unsaid.
i guess i have a hard time expressing myself, is it because i'm scared to see what will happen? i'm not sure why i have a hard time doing it. something i'll have a dream (which is a rarity) in which i'll be doing what i want to happen in real life, then when i try to go to do that...i like freeze. i should just be bold and say what i want to say, because if its left unsaid no one will know what you want to say.
I suppose you can say my mind has been revolving about one thing specific, although i dont regret, this is something i wish if i could go back in time--i would do this differently. it could have been something that could have changed everything (well not everything, but you know)
okay...so i'm gonna stop being vague and go study--perhaps i'll even be a tad more confident, ugh...well see
i just hope its not too late
while...on the other hand, so much has happened and so much has left unsaid.
i guess i have a hard time expressing myself, is it because i'm scared to see what will happen? i'm not sure why i have a hard time doing it. something i'll have a dream (which is a rarity) in which i'll be doing what i want to happen in real life, then when i try to go to do that...i like freeze. i should just be bold and say what i want to say, because if its left unsaid no one will know what you want to say.
I suppose you can say my mind has been revolving about one thing specific, although i dont regret, this is something i wish if i could go back in time--i would do this differently. it could have been something that could have changed everything (well not everything, but you know)
okay...so i'm gonna stop being vague and go study--perhaps i'll even be a tad more confident, ugh...well see
i just hope its not too late
Thursday, February 28, 2008
HUMAN!
so i watched the last two episodes of scrubs tonight....omg the series finale was great-but such a cliffhanger...we dont know if Elliot married keith, if jd ended up with kim and the baby, or maybe just maybe elliot and jd realized they should be together-and they could make it work!
so in the 2nd to last episode there was this great song by Jon Mclaughlin called Human, i definitely can relate to them :) and i think you can too...take a look
Can you tell me how we got in this situation,
I can’t seem to get you off my mind,
all these ups and downs,
they trip up our good intentions,
nobody said this was easy ride.
After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’ after all
Can we get back to the point of this conversation,
when we saw things through each others eyes,
cause now all I see is ruin and devastation,
we all need some place we can hide inside and
After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’
I’m smart enough to know,
that life goes by,
and it leaves a trail of broken bones behind,
if you feel I’m letting go,
just give me time,
I’ll come running to your side,
Can you tell me how we got in this situation,
I can’t seem to get you off my mind cause
After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’
After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
After all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’ after all
Any other reason
to stay instead of leavin’
after all, yeah
so in the 2nd to last episode there was this great song by Jon Mclaughlin called Human, i definitely can relate to them :) and i think you can too...take a look
Can you tell me how we got in this situation,
I can’t seem to get you off my mind,
all these ups and downs,
they trip up our good intentions,
nobody said this was easy ride.
After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’ after all
Can we get back to the point of this conversation,
when we saw things through each others eyes,
cause now all I see is ruin and devastation,
we all need some place we can hide inside and
After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’
I’m smart enough to know,
that life goes by,
and it leaves a trail of broken bones behind,
if you feel I’m letting go,
just give me time,
I’ll come running to your side,
Can you tell me how we got in this situation,
I can’t seem to get you off my mind cause
After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
after all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’
After all we’re only human,
always fighting what we’re feeling,
hurt instead of healing,
After all we’re only human,
is there any other reason why we stay instead of leavin’ after all
Any other reason
to stay instead of leavin’
after all, yeah
Monday, February 25, 2008
On Diamonds We Will Dance...Cancer Does Not Stand A Chance
anyone can be a star
when you're rocking on guitar
F-T...F-T-K
so continuing from earlier...a camera definitely helps with the chronological-aty of the weekend :)
A couple of my favorite memories of the weekend!!
continuing on with fellow dancer friends! my SPSEA girls were amazing!! Allison, Sam, and Catie! you guys were great it was awesome dancing along side of you for 46 hours. and my piggy back for catie was amazing...our 87 load was great :) haha though ben thought i was crazy!
Kelly--some more spsea love..and go ORANGE! lauren fellow orange color wars partner, friend w/ ryan and also another ruby! andrea...2nd mile :), and some more!! i'm so proud of all 708 dancers we did an amazing job!
now for the remainder of people that came to visit me!!
My Asians--suong, boi, thuy, nugget :) you guys were awesome....if only through the pit, your cookies were amazing--i shared them with either my moraler or another dance i can't remember! but they were delicious...some peanutbutter too :) yumm!!! love you guys. shafin found me on the floor...decided to shoot me with his squirt gun even though i told him no a million times, then i beat him in a push up contest, how embarrassing is that, seriously! Melissa found her way onto the floor to visit the thespians but found me in the mean time....she was great! i'm so glad i decided to do band and meet awesome people...i love how we joked about brining my clarinet and practicing for our playing midterm on the THON floor! sometime saturday evening my parents and little brother came! it was great for them to come and experience what THON really is, i hope it opened my lil bro's eyes up about what you can do in college and hopefully he'll apply himself more in school and use his intelligence a little more and stop slacking off! THON weekend also taught my mom how to text message...haha thats just funny! but they enjoyed themselves so i'm glad they made the trip from the 'burgh! some people came to visit me a couple times, but sean was the last one i saw THON weekend...he tried coming earlier like some time saturday night? not sure what time but my phone was dead so he called and i didn't know...i felt soo bad, but he came back during family hour which was great. especially since i saw him after the emotional part of family hour, and since i didn't see my moraler for a while, it was awesome!!--all the pumped up music was playing, lol sweet caroline came on and we didn't know a majority of the lyrics just the "SWEET CAROLINE oh oh oh...touching me....touching you part" haha. but for some reason it was all my shoulders that were sore i and still have a knot in my shoulder...so he massaged it and it felt soo good. but it was a good last visit we just stood there talking about the weekend, he was supportive and such it was awesome!!! then he had to go get work done...so he sent me back to my SPSEAers! (apparently he got his nittany notes done so thats good)
hmm...anything else about this past weekend! i dunno for now but it was AMAZING, INSPIRATIONAL, UNBELIEVABLE....i'd say dancing is the most physical and one of the most emotional things i've ever experienced in my entire life. i love how everyone involved in THON doesn't have a voice today...it just show's how dedicated we are to the cause and the kids!
Chica Chica Yea....Bed time :) Love THON 2008 .... thanks for all the support, i wouldn't have made it without every minute of it!!!!!
when you're rocking on guitar
F-T...F-T-K
so continuing from earlier...a camera definitely helps with the chronological-aty of the weekend :)
A couple of my favorite memories of the weekend!!
- the tunnel of love
- the walk...around the world! getting a massage in Rockefeller Center
- learning the line dance and doing it 46 times or so...
- Visitors
- Pre-historic mail call :) my letters/cards were fabulous, motivational, hilarious
- OOOorange winning color wars!
- moralers
- water gun battles with kids
- massages especially from some of the tators
- family hour
- one big dance party
- the pep-rally (despite standing practically still for 2ish hours it hurt so bad)
- the sea of colors throughout the BJC
continuing on with fellow dancer friends! my SPSEA girls were amazing!! Allison, Sam, and Catie! you guys were great it was awesome dancing along side of you for 46 hours. and my piggy back for catie was amazing...our 87 load was great :) haha though ben thought i was crazy!
Kelly--some more spsea love..and go ORANGE! lauren fellow orange color wars partner, friend w/ ryan and also another ruby! andrea...2nd mile :), and some more!! i'm so proud of all 708 dancers we did an amazing job!
now for the remainder of people that came to visit me!!
My Asians--suong, boi, thuy, nugget :) you guys were awesome....if only through the pit, your cookies were amazing--i shared them with either my moraler or another dance i can't remember! but they were delicious...some peanutbutter too :) yumm!!! love you guys. shafin found me on the floor...decided to shoot me with his squirt gun even though i told him no a million times, then i beat him in a push up contest, how embarrassing is that, seriously! Melissa found her way onto the floor to visit the thespians but found me in the mean time....she was great! i'm so glad i decided to do band and meet awesome people...i love how we joked about brining my clarinet and practicing for our playing midterm on the THON floor! sometime saturday evening my parents and little brother came! it was great for them to come and experience what THON really is, i hope it opened my lil bro's eyes up about what you can do in college and hopefully he'll apply himself more in school and use his intelligence a little more and stop slacking off! THON weekend also taught my mom how to text message...haha thats just funny! but they enjoyed themselves so i'm glad they made the trip from the 'burgh! some people came to visit me a couple times, but sean was the last one i saw THON weekend...he tried coming earlier like some time saturday night? not sure what time but my phone was dead so he called and i didn't know...i felt soo bad, but he came back during family hour which was great. especially since i saw him after the emotional part of family hour, and since i didn't see my moraler for a while, it was awesome!!--all the pumped up music was playing, lol sweet caroline came on and we didn't know a majority of the lyrics just the "SWEET CAROLINE oh oh oh...touching me....touching you part" haha. but for some reason it was all my shoulders that were sore i and still have a knot in my shoulder...so he massaged it and it felt soo good. but it was a good last visit we just stood there talking about the weekend, he was supportive and such it was awesome!!! then he had to go get work done...so he sent me back to my SPSEAers! (apparently he got his nittany notes done so thats good)
hmm...anything else about this past weekend! i dunno for now but it was AMAZING, INSPIRATIONAL, UNBELIEVABLE....i'd say dancing is the most physical and one of the most emotional things i've ever experienced in my entire life. i love how everyone involved in THON doesn't have a voice today...it just show's how dedicated we are to the cause and the kids!
Chica Chica Yea....Bed time :) Love THON 2008 .... thanks for all the support, i wouldn't have made it without every minute of it!!!!!
Dollar Dollar Bills Yea...For the for the kids yea!
THON 2008 WAS SOOO AMAZING :)
we raised $6,615,318.04 for the kids! 1.4 million more than last years total! great job everyone
that is 6.6 million reasons to SMILE, 6.6 million reasons to HOPE!
So a little bit about the weekend...it started 4pm on friday, after our 2nd dancer meeting where the kirby family talked to us about their experience through THON and their battle with Max's cancer. so the tears started to flow! the tunnel to the BJC was awesome....it started raining on our way over. i saw everyone on Morale and different committees that would be supporting me and all of the dancers that weekend, hugged and high-fived everyone (caused a traffic jam which they said not to do) haha but it was worth it! so then we kicked THON off and it was amazing to see all the Dancers stand up for the first time :) my moraler WUuu was there for the beginning! that was sweet! she got me some cool stuff to start THON off with and surprised me throughout the weekend with different gifts! she even made me a Steelers Cape!!
It was great seeing my R & R committee when they were on the floor and through the hallways of the BJC <3>
we raised $6,615,318.04 for the kids! 1.4 million more than last years total! great job everyone
that is 6.6 million reasons to SMILE, 6.6 million reasons to HOPE!
So a little bit about the weekend...it started 4pm on friday, after our 2nd dancer meeting where the kirby family talked to us about their experience through THON and their battle with Max's cancer. so the tears started to flow! the tunnel to the BJC was awesome....it started raining on our way over. i saw everyone on Morale and different committees that would be supporting me and all of the dancers that weekend, hugged and high-fived everyone (caused a traffic jam which they said not to do) haha but it was worth it! so then we kicked THON off and it was amazing to see all the Dancers stand up for the first time :) my moraler WUuu was there for the beginning! that was sweet! she got me some cool stuff to start THON off with and surprised me throughout the weekend with different gifts! she even made me a Steelers Cape!!
It was great seeing my R & R committee when they were on the floor and through the hallways of the BJC <3>
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
Why do people change?
Why do friends fall apart from one another?
Why is it when you think you truly know someone a superficial behavior/person draws you apart?
is it jealous? a want? a need?
could something in their life be missing and you aren't what they need anymore?
It has been almost two years since i've lost one of my best friends. i took her to boyce park to teach her how to snowboard one night--that night she took two HARD falls: one on her head another on her heart. ever since that night i feel i haven't known the same person and the rest of my friends can agree with that. we used to be like sisters--sharing everything with one another. even dating another pair of best friends our Junior year of high school--oh the memories with the mooners! hah-whose turn is it for a nose bleed now?!? we were practically inseparable we even almost drove to Virginia one night because i was so frustrated and relax by driving--i could just get away from everything and anything and with your best friend by your side what could go wrong?
Maybe there was something that this boy provided that her longtime friends do not. we dont' see it...and feel like she doesn't think she did anything wrong-just us in the wrong. i guess he love her in someway we can't, but i wish she is with someone who appreciates her more...than this one.
This still weights heavy on my mind and heart..maybe because when you know someone for 9ish years they really grow on you. she's a smart girl we have faith that maybe one day she'll realize whats going here and Wake Up!
Personally, when i lose my closest friends and their friends parents for a significant other...i'd probably ask myself whats going on here? that doesn't seem to be beneficially physically, emotionally, and socially by any means. but everyone is open to their own ideas and interests, right? right!
you can't get caught up on things like this though. if you know you're storng you know you can move past it and "just SMILE" like Barry always makes me do before we hang up the phone or talking in any means.
Honesly, it makes you feel 150% better when you just smile or laugh....it may seem cheesy, but seriously try it. its great therapy. like even Hillary does it during debates...so it has to be alright :)
Phew....that feels better, plus only 2 more hours till nap time on the bus00who would have thought 4th grade math would have been so exciting? did you know that the largest number in a division problem is the dividend?
haha..i wrote this at like 12 noon when i was bored observing today!
Why do friends fall apart from one another?
Why is it when you think you truly know someone a superficial behavior/person draws you apart?
is it jealous? a want? a need?
could something in their life be missing and you aren't what they need anymore?
It has been almost two years since i've lost one of my best friends. i took her to boyce park to teach her how to snowboard one night--that night she took two HARD falls: one on her head another on her heart. ever since that night i feel i haven't known the same person and the rest of my friends can agree with that. we used to be like sisters--sharing everything with one another. even dating another pair of best friends our Junior year of high school--oh the memories with the mooners! hah-whose turn is it for a nose bleed now?!? we were practically inseparable we even almost drove to Virginia one night because i was so frustrated and relax by driving--i could just get away from everything and anything and with your best friend by your side what could go wrong?
Maybe there was something that this boy provided that her longtime friends do not. we dont' see it...and feel like she doesn't think she did anything wrong-just us in the wrong. i guess he love her in someway we can't, but i wish she is with someone who appreciates her more...than this one.
This still weights heavy on my mind and heart..maybe because when you know someone for 9ish years they really grow on you. she's a smart girl we have faith that maybe one day she'll realize whats going here and Wake Up!
Personally, when i lose my closest friends and their friends parents for a significant other...i'd probably ask myself whats going on here? that doesn't seem to be beneficially physically, emotionally, and socially by any means. but everyone is open to their own ideas and interests, right? right!
you can't get caught up on things like this though. if you know you're storng you know you can move past it and "just SMILE" like Barry always makes me do before we hang up the phone or talking in any means.
Honesly, it makes you feel 150% better when you just smile or laugh....it may seem cheesy, but seriously try it. its great therapy. like even Hillary does it during debates...so it has to be alright :)
Phew....that feels better, plus only 2 more hours till nap time on the bus00who would have thought 4th grade math would have been so exciting? did you know that the largest number in a division problem is the dividend?
haha..i wrote this at like 12 noon when i was bored observing today!
God Bless the Broken Road
Today I observed in Johnstown at East Side Elementary School. While waking up at 5:15am was not fun a lot of things started to go my ways except for not being able to zip up the back of my dress by myself (and of course no one else was up this early to help) so i just went with the flow. So i left my room and headed up Frasier while the Blue Loop was pulling up! then i got to Shields and there was a charter bus there! it was great because buses 1 & 2 were school buses (sorry guys). therefore i was able to to get about 2 hours of sleep on the bus. while observing i got a little bored so i glanced back on some previous journal entries and realized i need to start writing again--not just off and on or when i'm in a slump perhaps writting will help me express myself as i tend not to do and let everything build up and maybe it will help me not over analyze a lot of situations that are sometimes out of my hands and realize that i should rely on someone else when it comes to problems. like our Lord because hes amazing and here for us.
On a lighter note--THON--is literally less than 24 hours away! I am really excited to see my family and friends. because i know i will definitely need their support, motivation, and their bodies to lean on (literally) especially when it comes down to the wee hours and i'm becoming a little worn out and delerious!
Once THON is over i know the semester wis going to fly by and so many awesome things are coming up. i'm ready for it because i'm not in it alone!
Especially the Rascal Flatts and Taylor Swift concert August 30th!! Yesss!!!
On a lighter note--THON--is literally less than 24 hours away! I am really excited to see my family and friends. because i know i will definitely need their support, motivation, and their bodies to lean on (literally) especially when it comes down to the wee hours and i'm becoming a little worn out and delerious!
Once THON is over i know the semester wis going to fly by and so many awesome things are coming up. i'm ready for it because i'm not in it alone!
Especially the Rascal Flatts and Taylor Swift concert August 30th!! Yesss!!!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
You Are My Guiding Light
As of now THON is in 1 day and 19 hours. to me that is simply insane...i never thought this day would come, but here it is. in less than 48 hours me and 700 other Penn Staters will be dancing For The Kids. These kids have more courage, honesty, wisdom, and strength, than most of the people i know. These kids truly are Heros! As dancers we will stand on our feet awake and play with kids for 46 hours. and i simply can't wait :) Bring it on! p.s. go ORANGE
You are my angel. You are my diamond. You are my Guiding Light!
This week has gone by so fast, not that it has been academically busy more so that i have been running from meeting to meeting--but thats how i love life and wouldn't change it for anything...but i took some Heather time last night and realized (once again) that i can't face this world alone and i can't fix my problems or hard times alone. That is what the big man upstairs is all about. I just have to be able to have enough faith and rely on him instead of dealing things by myself. Thats why Psalm 86 is so amazing....it lays it out there for us.
I strongly believe this weekend will such an eyeopener for me....and i'm so EXCITED for it!
You are my angel. You are my diamond. You are my Guiding Light!
This week has gone by so fast, not that it has been academically busy more so that i have been running from meeting to meeting--but thats how i love life and wouldn't change it for anything...but i took some Heather time last night and realized (once again) that i can't face this world alone and i can't fix my problems or hard times alone. That is what the big man upstairs is all about. I just have to be able to have enough faith and rely on him instead of dealing things by myself. Thats why Psalm 86 is so amazing....it lays it out there for us.
I strongly believe this weekend will such an eyeopener for me....and i'm so EXCITED for it!
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